I love staying home with my kids. I really do. But … stick with me here … and please tell me I’m not the only one …

WHERE THE HELL DID MY BRAIN GO?

I mean, it is bad enough that I have to (gasp!) AGE. But now I have to go and get all half-witted too? I mean, where are the witty retorts? the grown-up words? And what happened to the ability to create an entire sentence without (a) saying “um” because my memory was clearly delivered along with that second baby; and (b) without being interrupted by phrases like “Sweetie, Mommy doesn’t want to tell you not to do that again” or “Sweetie, if I have to ask you to stop texting and set the table again …” or “Sweetie, go wash your hands – that was nasty!” or “Sweetie …” (I think you get the idea!)

My IQ has always lurked fairly up there, but now? I’m not so certain. And yes, I realize that this is not a ringing endorsement for the fact that I home school. But I’m not talking about book smart. I have always been that. Probably always will be. I am talking about that loss of the super-smart, educated sounding, eloquence in daily conversation. Maybe that is because I mostly speak to children?

I was chatting with a girlfriend the other day (she works full-time and is an awesome mommy, too) and I got off the phone and thought: “Damn she’s smart! I feel so dumb right now. Seriously, dumb. Was I that smart when I worked, too? Maybe I should go back to work. Oh heck no. I’d rather be dumb.”

Killing time between school and ballet class the other day, I decided to take the girls to the mall for a little girl time. I really don’t enjoy the mall, per se, but I never mind browsing the Free People section of any given department store. And my 3yo? She shops like she’s been handing over a black AmEx since birth. But, I digress …

There we were, walking through the store to the kids section and they just HAD to put Free People right there, on the way. And so I stopped. I browsed. It lasted all of 2 minutes. The little one thought it would be funny to hide behind a maxi dress. The oldest decided to sneak up on her. Upon being found, the little one shrieked in both shock and excitement.

That’s when it happened. I got “the look” from an older lady browsing nearby. You know “the look”? The one that says “you should be so ashamed of that child”. And it wasn’t just “the look”. NO! She did the head shake too. Oh, the horror on her face!

I was tempted to say something to her. Very tempted. But then I realized that she was likely a woman who had never had children. Because anyone who has ever had a child, and taken that child in public, would never give that look. Because anyone who has ever had a child, and taken that child in public more than once, has like had their child do something loud, or obnoxious, or rude, or inappropriate. And anyone who has ever had a child would’ve likely given me that knowing mom glance.

It wasn’t all bad. While I chose not to say anything to the dragon lady, the sales lady and another shopper said plenty … by laughing hysterically.

The little one turned 3 on New Years Eve … and how did she wish to celebrate? With her favorite color, of course – PINK. She specifically requested a PINK PARTY and even chose the dress that the theme was centered around (a multi-pink ruffly number from Gap Kids). We put pink everywhere – pink lemonade, pink cups, pink candy-filled jars with pink rock candy arrangements, pink balloons and pink tissue paper flowers, pink cake, pink dress, pink wand and crown, and even a pink-iced cookie tree. I had pinned a pink ruffly cake a while back on Pinterest, but she saw another pink cake I pinned and decided at the last moment that she wanted it instead. That exact cake. And she got it. The only way it could have gotten any pinker was if I’d painted the walls. She absolutely adored it, as did I, so I wanted to share a few pics with y’all.

The summer before our oldest was going into kindergarten, she expressed a BIG interest in reading. Never having taught someone to read before, we were at a loss as to what to do. Lucky for us, a college nearby was hosting a reading program for different age groups, beginning with 4yo and rising kindergarteners. And so we signed up.

It was a 5 or 6 week program. We spent maybe 2 hours on a Saturday morning there. They provided the materials and a cd. We showed up, paid attention, and practiced during the week. After the class and continued practice, she was reading before she ever went to kindergarten. She was 4 years old. Not only did the class help us work with her, but it sparked in her a love of reading that she continues to possess today.

I hope that if you, or someone you know, has a little one that wants to read – or even an older child that needs or wants help with reading and reading comprehension – you will check out the Institute of Reading Development website and find a class near you. No matter how hurried you may be, the few hours of work that this takes have a lifetime of positive results!

Hurried Homemaker was in no way compensated for this post.

I thought I would continue my Creative Consequences stream of thought. I thought I should also note that these are just what I said – Creative Consequences – NOT punishments. If you have signed up to work with my pal Amy McCready at Positive Parenting Solutions, then you know that consequences are the most natural way to help children learn. Disclaimer done. And so on we go …

Lately, we have had one main problem with each child and I got fed up. Big time.

OFFENSE – the 9yo rarely puts something where it actually belongs
CONSEQUENCE – put the item(s) away 5 times over … for each item
LIFE LESSON – Do it right the first time! Take your time to do it right the first time and you won’t need to spend so much time re-doing it.

EXAMPLE: All the playing cards but one got put away during family clean-up time. When she discovered the one left out, she put it on the sofa. Since she had already been warned of the consequence of not putting things where they belong, she had to do the following –

1. Pick up card. Open ottoman. Put card in box. Close ottoman.
2. Open ottoman. Pull card out of box. Close ottoman. Put card back on sofa.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until card has been appropriately put away 5 times.
   

OFFENSE – the 2yo has taken to saying “pee” and “poo” – a lot (It’s one thing to say you have to go, this is another story.)
CONSEQUENCE – (1) ignore it – don’t fuel the attention-seeking; (2) she has to hold her tongue for 10 seconds
LIFE LESSON – Some things aren’t appropriate to say (no matter what), we have to learn to “hold” our tongue a lot in life.

EXAMPLE: The little one was told immediately upon hearing “Pee on you!” that those things aren’t nice to say and they sound nasty. Then, she was told if she said it again she would have to hold her tongue, and I showed what I meant. Then follow through. If she’s too stubborn to hold her own tongue, I will hold it for her (firmly, but gently).
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