I love staying home with my kids. I really do. But … stick with me here … and please tell me I’m not the only one …
WHERE THE HELL DID MY BRAIN GO?
I mean, it is bad enough that I have to (gasp!) AGE. But now I have to go and get all half-witted too? I mean, where are the witty retorts? the grown-up words? And what happened to the ability to create an entire sentence without (a) saying “um” because my memory was clearly delivered along with that second baby; and (b) without being interrupted by phrases like “Sweetie, Mommy doesn’t want to tell you not to do that again” or “Sweetie, if I have to ask you to stop texting and set the table again …” or “Sweetie, go wash your hands – that was nasty!” or “Sweetie …” (I think you get the idea!)
My IQ has always lurked fairly up there, but now? I’m not so certain. And yes, I realize that this is not a ringing endorsement for the fact that I home school. But I’m not talking about book smart. I have always been that. Probably always will be. I am talking about that loss of the super-smart, educated sounding, eloquence in daily conversation. Maybe that is because I mostly speak to children?
I was chatting with a girlfriend the other day (she works full-time and is an awesome mommy, too) and I got off the phone and thought: “Damn she’s smart! I feel so dumb right now. Seriously, dumb. Was I that smart when I worked, too? Maybe I should go back to work. Oh heck no. I’d rather be dumb.”
Killing time between school and ballet class the other day, I decided to take the girls to the mall for a little girl time. I really don’t enjoy the mall, per se, but I never mind browsing the Free People section of any given department store. And my 3yo? She shops like she’s been handing over a black AmEx since birth. But, I digress …
There we were, walking through the store to the kids section and they just HAD to put Free People right there, on the way. And so I stopped. I browsed. It lasted all of 2 minutes. The little one thought it would be funny to hide behind a maxi dress. The oldest decided to sneak up on her. Upon being found, the little one shrieked in both shock and excitement.
That’s when it happened. I got “the look” from an older lady browsing nearby. You know “the look”? The one that says “you should be so ashamed of that child”. And it wasn’t just “the look”. NO! She did the head shake too. Oh, the horror on her face!
I was tempted to say something to her. Very tempted. But then I realized that she was likely a woman who had never had children. Because anyone who has ever had a child, and taken that child in public, would never give that look. Because anyone who has ever had a child, and taken that child in public more than once, has like had their child do something loud, or obnoxious, or rude, or inappropriate. And anyone who has ever had a child would’ve likely given me that knowing mom glance.
It wasn’t all bad. While I chose not to say anything to the dragon lady, the sales lady and another shopper said plenty … by laughing hysterically.
